After 24 hours without service (either broadband or telephone) I finally called the technical support line to find out what was happening.

£2.00 later and I finally get to speak to a human, (although at this stage it has to be said I use the term loosely), who informs me there is a fault on the line, between the hub, and the exchange.

"So when can I expect to get back online?" asks an irate RD.

"Well we're not really sure", explains a clueless tech support bod.

After explaining that without broadband OR telephone I'm limited to speaking to tech support on a mobile, or at the local phone box, which is over half a mile away, I'm assured I will recieve a text letting me know when the service will be resumed.

So for the following three mornings in a row, at 07:30am prompt I received a text message which read: "we are aware of your problem and are working as fast as possible to rectify the fault".

Yeah right!

Having spoken with BT again on this, the 4th morning, I'm assured the engineers have found the fault, and service will be resumed at 17:00hrs on the 10th January, which as luck would have it, is today.

At 16:00hrs today my partner calls BT to find out if everything is as it should be, and in the meantime, I'm sitting in front of my PC, limbering up my fingers in readiness for a hard night updating the Canna Zine.

£4 worth of mobile phone call later, and the tech support agent we are communicating with informs my partner there is another fault on the line, which they are unable to fix.

We are also informed the estimated time of the return of our broadband and phone service, has now changed to 17:00hrs on the 11th Jan.

"Hang on a minute" thinks me. If this carries on until tomorrow, and they are still unable to find the mystery fault, I could be without phone and Internet service until Monday or beyond, and now I'm pissed.

So as things stand, its almost 1am on friday morning, and we are still no nearer to getting our service returned.

In the meantime my mum, bless her cotton socks, who lives 25 miles away from me, has opened up her spare room to me for a couple of days, and I'm pleased to be able to announce rather than being with the "Bloody Terrible" BT, she is in the fortunate position of living in a cable enabled area, so we are currently coming to you care of Richard Bransons Virgin Network, which used to be NTL cable services.

Just prior to leaving for my mothers house I decided to knock on my adjoining neighbours doors, to see if either had suffered any problems with their phone or Internet.

The answer, surprise surprise, was no, even though both lines into the adjoining neighbours houses are BT lines.

So it would appear this mystery problem, which took the Canna Zine offline essentially, for the thick end of a week, was impacting ONLY the IP address from which the Canna Zine is updated, and I just wonder if the fact I had written and published a particularly scathing attack on PM Gordon Brown and his government after it came to light hospitals in South Wales were asking sick patients NOT to attend hospital, as they were having to close wards in a bid to contain an epidemic of the seasonal "Norovirus", which manifests itself in a dose of the shits, as well as vomiting, had played a part.

Especially as I had recommended the government use cannabis cash, in the shape of an annual cannabis growers license, to bolster the flagging National Health Service with a new revenue stream, WITHOUT having to rob either Peter OR Paul to do so.

Cospiracy theories?

Ya got to love them right?

British Telecom on the other hand, SUCKS!

If you have visited the Canna Zine in the last few days, only to find out it had not been updated, please accept my sincerest apologies. Normal service HAS been resumed, with the help of my mum, (bless her - she thought she had seen the last of me long ago, as I approach 42 years of age).